seriously... enough with winter man.

The past couple of months have been quite stressful, I can't lie on my own blog.

Here is the laundry list... in case you're curious

• I've been dealing with my current immigration situation--which is nonexistent since my partner and I still have no status... We'd like to get out of our basement-apartment-living-situation, as the upstairs neighbors aren't exactly "light walkers" if you know what I mean... Not to mention the fact that we sit on patio furniture because I refuse to buy new household items until we get a real place. What's the point when there is a pretty good chance you might get deported, right?

• The holidays came and went, and not fast enough I should add. Since we can't visit our family at this delicate time, holidays just aren't the same. Yes, my partner and I consider each other family, but let's face it-- 1: I can't cook like my mom so I'm going to try it unless she's giving individual lessons 2: we don't fight with one another and holidays are not as fun without a couple of good old tussles with your siblings--I miss fighting with my brothers (huge part of my upbringing actually)... Needless to say, I am glad they are over!

• There is a recession currently, and unfortunately Stephen Harper is still the Prime Minister. Come on Canada! Are you serious with this guy? Seriously? The picture below says exactly what I think about Mr. Harper. Politically correct? not so much. Figuratively correct? perhaps. Could it be worse politically here? Nope.

• And lastly, it's still far too cold out!

Deep down, I know I shouldn't complain because I know things could be far worse, so kindly forgive me. But since this is my blog and nobody reads it, I can basically talk about whatever I want!

I need a vacation. One with sand and ocean and lots of skin showing everywhere and beer during the day... Are there any places like that in Canada?

If you can think of a way to put me back in "glass half full mode", I'd really, really love to hear it. And don't say zoloft or viagra or whateverelsefuckingpillpeopleseemtobepoppingthesedays... all those things do is cause side effects!

OK ... I'm making myself nauseous with what a Debbie Downer I am... stories from the gym coming up!

...it's been a long time... but i bought a new laptop, so i'm back!

So much to catch you all up on... apologies. (hahahaha... I know that only about 2 people read this!)

I had to take a break. Let's face it--keeping up with the news and the way in which humans conduct business on this planet is just intolerable. Am I pessimistic? Perhaps. So I needed a much deserved break. I spent this "break" watching TLC instead of CBC... thus I will be blogging about "Little People Big World" sometimes because it's a great show ;)

While on said blogging break, I've reconnected with my true passion, which is coaching. And aside from that, I've been concentrating on work. And yes, don't fret, "Stories from The Gym" will continue! So much drama to bring you up to date on...

On the War Resister front, I am currently dealing with the fact that I have to make call-ins each month requiring my voice to be recognized by a computer. No, it's not a big deal, but it makes me feel like a criminal. I am not a criminal. The fact that I disagree (with all of my being) with a war that is both immoral and illegal is not criminal. Yet Canada has a knack of making me feel like a felon. It is a very interesting way to experience anger. Usually there is someone or something you can address... in our case the entity holding us back is much larger than most of everyone.

But no worries... I'm back.

Talk to you tomorrow!

George Bush Globally Shunned...

I had to post this video... it's SO SAD.... but it's more of a damnrightyoufuckingdeservethatshit kind of sad! The most hated man in the civilized world: George Bush

And here's my proof:

Stories From The Gym - "In Mourning..."

Today was a sad day at the gym... our friend and sometimes adversary, Nox, was fired this afternoon and I'm feeling the need to mourn his permanent removal from my life at the gym.

Things like this happen all of the time--people get fired. The economy is tanking and the fitness industry is simply an unstable place... but in some instances, when certain people are terminated it's questionable.

Nox's pink-slip was quite unexpected by all. In fact, I was in the middle of training one of my favorite clients when he came over to say "goodbye". It was all very dramatic. It just so happened that Relative and Portugal were hitting the weights, in the same area, when he came back to announce his shortcomings.

We were all (EVERYONE) pretty shocked and some were a bit angered. Usually, when someone is let go most people expect it. For example, a trainer was let go just last week, but it never made headlines because, well we all expected it. But today, as Nox let us know, in his shaky voice--holding back tears in his eyes--it just seemed wrong.

I think the wrongness of the situation stems from the fact that he worked hard, he wasn't a slacker, and he was liked by most. Apparently his team was behind in sales and the General Manager--Slouch--didn't exactly like him. Although, the fact remains, whenever any of us needed a manager to help us out, he was always there. He seemed like he liked his job--and he was real on the days when he didn't.

In short, it makes one wonder about their own personal longevity in a place that does't seem to care about much other than bringing in revenue.

So, in short, I'm feeling bad about what happened to poor Nox and I'm thinking, it's definitely time to discontinue my relationship with corporations...

Thoughts?

The Life and Times of a Cyclist.

I am freezing, cranky and bruised while I type this, as tonight happens to be the first time I cycled home from work in the snow.

I am a cyclist--well, by default actually. My partner is a passionate environmentalist who insisted we sell our vehicle and instead, cycle everywhere in order to "do our part". And while I was all for it (April through October)--November is turning out to be an entirely different story.

This evening, as I left work, I decided to check my breaks. It was the smart thing to do right? Make sure they work well in the snow. So I rode for about ten feet and then pressed the breaks. Bad idea. As soon as I squeezed my hands I was flying towards the ground. It was dark, I was lying in the middle of the road, and I banged the crap out of my leg. Whenever something like this happens to me--something like falling--whether it's on a sports field or off of my bike, I often have the urge to just lie there for a moment...I'm not sure why. Tonight however, the speed with which I jumped up from the pavement was fast enough to make any witness question if I had even fallen in the first place. I'm not sure if it was because I was cold or because I was terrified of being run over. From that moment on, I decided that breaking hard was probably not what a genius might do and I rode slowly--breaking lightly while dragging my toe along the ground.

Halfway through my ride was when it got scary. There were more cars--driving REALLY fast--and the bike lane was filled with snow. I could have rode in the street but I was afraid of getting hit by a car--drivers don't pay too much attention these days no matter how many flashing lights you have strapped to you. While riding in the snowy bike lane I fell again, but thankfully this time I fell away from traffic.

After falling twice and being scared out of my wits tonight I am not so sure how committed I am to this riding through the winter deal. I could take the TTC, but I know that it will take 3 times as long, so I don't know what to do. I guess I'll keep whining on my blog, pray to stay upright, ride really slow, affix additional lights to my body, and HOPE with all of my might that winter ends a hell of a lot sooner than usual... If Hope worked for Barack Obama, it can work for me!

Stories From The Gym - "Don't Go In There"

OK. First an update: I should let you know that since the "Stability Ball Incident", I have not seen "Ms. H". However, some other characters have rolled through our double doors it seems...

It's no secret that there are some seriously interesting individuals who use our gym. Realistically speaking, anytime you have a large community of people, there are bound to be a couple of us who are interesting right?

Currently the room where trainers usually throw/stuff/pile their things is under construction--which is a BIG, HUGE deal (things literally take 6-9 months to get done when working within a corporate setting). Back to it--now that our closet-sized room, where approx. 16 people store their things is being renovated, we are condemned to using the women's and men's locker rooms. Now... don't get me wrong here--many believe that it's a privilege to be able to put our lowly things there--but I say I'd rather have my renovated closet. Here's why:

The locker room, though clean, large, and nicely decorated, is a strange an awkward place filled with lots of naked people conducting many, very common, naked-rituals. These rituals include, but are not limited to: blow drying or flat ironing hair when naked, air drying ones genitals with the use of a swinging towel--while naked, make-up application while naked, etc. These are things that one simply gets used to. And if one does not enjoy or feel comfortable being around these rituals... well one puts their head down, grabs their bag as quickly as possible and then makes a bee-line for the door. But here is my question: what does one do when someone falls far beyond the norm?

Today Portugal informed me that such an occurance happened two nights ago and I was AGAST with utter shock! hah a haha ...wait for it... Portugal told me that one of his clients, after a long and sweaty training session, innocently entered the locker room expecting the norm--lots of older women fanning their crotches with towels--but was completely taken aback when she looked over to observe a women CHANGING HER TAMPON in the middle of the change room amidst rush hour traffic...

please pause to think about this... I did.

During my pause I wondered, was she simply inserting a new tampon? After I paused, I asked outloud, but to my fear, the woman was indeed employed in the public removal and insertion of tampons.

Who the HECK does that?

Excuse my American... but honestly! I am a woman. I get it. But that is sick! What if it splattered, what if it got on her hand and then on the locker? what if... you get where I'm going with this right?

I wish I would have been there--I would have DEFINITELY... DEFINITELY, in the politest way possible--using absolutely no American langu whatsoever, told that woman exactly where to go; the washroom.


Until next time.

Jon LaJoie COMING TO TORONTO - December 10th!

I thought I'd let you know, Jon LaJoie is coming to Toronto to perform. He is a HILARIOUS comedian! I mean, have you ever seen "Everyday Normal Guy"? If not, here it is:



If you want to come see him LIVE... you totally should. He'll be here on December 10th at the Horseshoe Tavern