Stories From The Gym - "In Mourning..."

Today was a sad day at the gym... our friend and sometimes adversary, Nox, was fired this afternoon and I'm feeling the need to mourn his permanent removal from my life at the gym.

Things like this happen all of the time--people get fired. The economy is tanking and the fitness industry is simply an unstable place... but in some instances, when certain people are terminated it's questionable.

Nox's pink-slip was quite unexpected by all. In fact, I was in the middle of training one of my favorite clients when he came over to say "goodbye". It was all very dramatic. It just so happened that Relative and Portugal were hitting the weights, in the same area, when he came back to announce his shortcomings.

We were all (EVERYONE) pretty shocked and some were a bit angered. Usually, when someone is let go most people expect it. For example, a trainer was let go just last week, but it never made headlines because, well we all expected it. But today, as Nox let us know, in his shaky voice--holding back tears in his eyes--it just seemed wrong.

I think the wrongness of the situation stems from the fact that he worked hard, he wasn't a slacker, and he was liked by most. Apparently his team was behind in sales and the General Manager--Slouch--didn't exactly like him. Although, the fact remains, whenever any of us needed a manager to help us out, he was always there. He seemed like he liked his job--and he was real on the days when he didn't.

In short, it makes one wonder about their own personal longevity in a place that does't seem to care about much other than bringing in revenue.

So, in short, I'm feeling bad about what happened to poor Nox and I'm thinking, it's definitely time to discontinue my relationship with corporations...

Thoughts?

Stories From The Gym - "Don't Go In There"

OK. First an update: I should let you know that since the "Stability Ball Incident", I have not seen "Ms. H". However, some other characters have rolled through our double doors it seems...

It's no secret that there are some seriously interesting individuals who use our gym. Realistically speaking, anytime you have a large community of people, there are bound to be a couple of us who are interesting right?

Currently the room where trainers usually throw/stuff/pile their things is under construction--which is a BIG, HUGE deal (things literally take 6-9 months to get done when working within a corporate setting). Back to it--now that our closet-sized room, where approx. 16 people store their things is being renovated, we are condemned to using the women's and men's locker rooms. Now... don't get me wrong here--many believe that it's a privilege to be able to put our lowly things there--but I say I'd rather have my renovated closet. Here's why:

The locker room, though clean, large, and nicely decorated, is a strange an awkward place filled with lots of naked people conducting many, very common, naked-rituals. These rituals include, but are not limited to: blow drying or flat ironing hair when naked, air drying ones genitals with the use of a swinging towel--while naked, make-up application while naked, etc. These are things that one simply gets used to. And if one does not enjoy or feel comfortable being around these rituals... well one puts their head down, grabs their bag as quickly as possible and then makes a bee-line for the door. But here is my question: what does one do when someone falls far beyond the norm?

Today Portugal informed me that such an occurance happened two nights ago and I was AGAST with utter shock! hah a haha ...wait for it... Portugal told me that one of his clients, after a long and sweaty training session, innocently entered the locker room expecting the norm--lots of older women fanning their crotches with towels--but was completely taken aback when she looked over to observe a women CHANGING HER TAMPON in the middle of the change room amidst rush hour traffic...

please pause to think about this... I did.

During my pause I wondered, was she simply inserting a new tampon? After I paused, I asked outloud, but to my fear, the woman was indeed employed in the public removal and insertion of tampons.

Who the HECK does that?

Excuse my American... but honestly! I am a woman. I get it. But that is sick! What if it splattered, what if it got on her hand and then on the locker? what if... you get where I'm going with this right?

I wish I would have been there--I would have DEFINITELY... DEFINITELY, in the politest way possible--using absolutely no American langu whatsoever, told that woman exactly where to go; the washroom.


Until next time.

...it may have sounded mean--but i was being honest.

It was brought to my attention that my previous blog was offensive. And though I don't wish to offend people--opinions seem to have that effect sometimes--and I happen to have many opinions!

To be fair, my workplace is filled with many great people--those who are courteous, friendly, hard working, respectful of the space and the property they are borrowing...and in the same breath, as I inhale from saying that sentence, I must follow it up immediately with the fact that it is also filled with many who are ignorant--people who lie, cheat, steal, are apathetic, are grossly insecure, are rude and self-centered. And as I lament about the "brainlessness" of it--I am not making commentary on any particular individual--but rather an overall workplace-culture where everyone must fend for themselves (kind of like capitalism), rarely help one another out, and constantly feel belittled by a company that sees them as nothing more than a cash-cow.

Don't get me wrong and please don't misunderstand--personal training and coaching different strength disciplines can be an art when you know what you're doing. Having the opportunity and ability to work with individuals one-on-one; bringing them to a place of heightened fitness is extremely rewarding. But just like in EVERY workplace, there are always those individuals who don't fit in--unfortunately for me, at this particular workplace, I'm one of those people.

Plain and simply...I don't like working for a corporation. I don't want to be another cog in the wheel--it's not who I am. While I continue at my post, making a lot of money for a little bit of people, I will continue to blog about it--as honestly as always. I will try my best to articulate my opinions so that they're specific and eloquent... I always hope not to offend, but rather to elicit thought.

So stay tuned for more Stories From The Gym!

A new blog thread for you: STORIES FROM THE GYM!

Lately I've been on a (CRAZY) political tangent. And though I am very passionate about politics, the fact of the matter is I'm an athlete first and foremost. I'm all about The Greater Good, but I'm an athlete at the core. That said, I've decided to start a new thread called: "Stories From the Gym"... I figured you all would benefit from the drama, the hilarity, and the ridiculousness that encompass The Gym--my daily workplace.

I'm a strength coach. And I work in a gym. Most days I can't stand where I work--the lighting, the brainlessness of it all, the fixation on asthetics, and of course working for a corporation (UGH!). If I were to fairly describe myself at work--I'm the girl that is stronger, faster, and WAY more agile than the average. I train athletes and non athletes while talking about politics during their breaks. In a nutshell--that's me. I'd like to say that I get along with everyone, but that's just a pipedream.

Relavent Tangent: During university I often worked in restaurants to make some extra cash to survive (and naturally, to afford to party). After years of this type of work, I finally decided that I would NEVER work in a restaurant--EVER again. The pay was terrible, and at the risk of sounding elitist, I can do better than that--I'm a smart woman. Little did I know that working in a gym would be just as bad... if not worse (actually it's worse). Honestly, I have never worked in an environment that is more unprofessional in my life. Sometimes my workplace is a scene straight out of an MTV reality show--if you're not cool enough, fit enough, successful enough--pack your bags because you're going to get voted off!

To be fair, I have a couple of friends there (4 to be exact)--people that I truly respect and like... but for the most part, I feel as though I am in a reality television show without a confessional to turn to (but then again, that's where you come in!).

That said... here is my "Story From the Gym" of the day. I shall call it "BEASTERIOD"--out of hilarity

There is a group of us that hang out around this one table. We're actually confined to it because we just got a new general manager and her main goal (and this is a quote--obtained through hearsay of course) is "to make sure trainers are no longer sitting around".

In case you are unaware of this fact, trainers are slaves to their clients. If we cannot find a client to fill a time slot, we are either eating, working out, or sitting around-- and there are only so many times that you can eat or work out. Though our managers would love to have us prospecting (gaining more clients=making the corp more $) during this time, the fact of the matter is, they don't pay us to prospect... so we don't if we don't need to.

Back to our table; I digress... So today, our little group--there are 7 of us who regularly converse and are in my opinion the 'tightest knit' group at The Gym: Me, 'the Relative', 'the Footballer', 'Portugal', 'the Fighter', 'Greece' and sometimes 'the Newfie'. Today we (Relative, Portugal, and Footballer) were sitting around and talking about some of the newer members at our particular location. New members are like a new classroom for teachers--they change on a regular basis and you never know what you're going to get...

Today we were discussing a new member who is particularly built for a female. Not that it is a good or bad thing, but in her first week as a new member, she has garnered quite the reputation for herself. Last week Greece had a run-in with her when he mistakenly used one of her machines during her workout. According to his personal description of the story, she started yelling and cursing and speaking in another language when she realized he had been using her machine. For a group of people who spend about 4 hours a day sitting around, this was interesting news. We laughed about this and were a bit scared of having similar run-ins with her in the future.

ENTER ENID: seriously... it's just my luck....

Today I had a business meeting and I was dressed up when I got to The Gym. My hair was done, I was wearing jewelry (which never happens otherwise) and I was wearing make-up. I didn't have many clients, but the few time-slots that I did have happened to be when the yelling--cursing lady was working out. We shall call her Ms. H.

When I describe this woman to you, I want you to visualize the following: petite, about 5'3", very long, dark hair, and a very defined and built physique (think HYPERTROPHY). In my opinion, she may not have gained this strength by natural means. (And not to be a jerk, but she has a very low voice to prove my previous claim--see my earlier post about the steroids documentary)

During one of my training sessions--which I was successfully accomplishing without disturbing anyone else--Ms. Hypertrophy herself, in person, decides to come up to be and ask:

"ARE YOU USING DIS BALL" (be sure to say with a low voice--envision a voice that drinks whiskey in the morning DAILY and smokes ten cigarettes a day... then add a European accent).

I kindly answered: "Yes. We are still using this ball. But we'd be glad to share". (referring to the stability/swiss ball we were using)

She says: "I don like to share (cue eye-roll, then eye-lock and 3 second stare). I vill get my own" (don't forget the whiskey and the cigarette voice-rasp)

My poor client was like 'what the hell is going on'. It was honestly the most awkward/unecessary moment--everyone seemed to be locked into our small and insignificant discussion. Naturally, it wouldn't be a true moment from The Gym if there weren't about 2 or 3 trainers/co-workers in the vicinity to share in the experience. As soon as she walked away, another trainer said (outloud) "Watch out E... don't mess with her" and yet another one said: "don't worry, I've got your back"... it was surreal--sometimes I feel the need to look for the cameras. After our little 3 sentence conversation, she went back to the mirror where she stared at herself and danced (with herself) to the music. It was positively amazing.

In any case, it was just another day on the job. And while it's quite hilarious, I wonder why Ms. H (or as my co-workers lovingly refer to her "Beasteroid"--I'm shaking my head as I type the name) came up to me in the first place. Honestly, there were 3 other Stability Balls, in our immediate vicinity, that were not being used.

Something tells me this won't be our last run-in. We'll see what happens next. Maybe she'll challenge me to a tricep-pushup test... who knows? In any case, there is no telling what could happen at The Gym... tune in for updates.

Until next time...on "Stories From The Gym"...

Will Ms. H ask me on a date? Or will she curse me out for kicking her out of the "Trainer's Only Section"... we shall see!